


Hands Off!

by BarPurple



Series: Bad Things [16]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: BAMF!Lacey, F/M, Mild Angst, Unwanted Advances
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-03-31 10:49:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13973472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BarPurple/pseuds/BarPurple
Summary: Lacey is willing to stake her claim on Gold, but at this rate the only way she is going to get the message through to the woman who is making a play for him is to drop a house on her.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Something_Clever_or_Not](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Something_Clever_or_Not/gifts).



911 pawnshop greenie has Gold cornered!

Lacey swore loud enough to get a tut from Granny.

“Sorry, someone is harassing my man in his own shop.”

Granny gave her a curt nod; “Go put her straight. I’ll give you ten minutes then send the Sheriff down.”

Lacey threw a hurried thanks over her shoulder as she raced out of the diner. Granny had listened to Lacey and her friends bitch about Gold’s problem over the last few days, she’d suggested that only a pair of handcuffs and a restraining order would get through to someone that crazy.

Zelena was Regina’s half sister and had dropped by for an unannounced, and from what Lacey could tell, a very unwelcomed visit. She’d taken a shine to Gold and had begun flirting outrageously. If she’d just been flicking her hair and shooting him shy smiles from across the street Lacey wouldn’t have minded at all. Unfortunately, Zelena had no concept of subtly and no understanding of the word no.

She had first set her sights on Gold at a dinner party Regina had thrown. After an uncomfortable conversation with her when Lacey had nipped to the loo, Gold had glued himself to Lacey’s side and taken every opportunity to refer to her as his girlfriend. Anyone else would have got the message loud and clear, but Zelena had the nerve to try and invite Gold out for a late-night drink. Lacey had snorted and steered Gold away to the other side of the room, her hand firmly and clearly on his bum.

On the walk home Gold had tried to apologise, but Lacey had shut him down with a kiss.

“You are not at fault. Zelena was being an oblivious, inappropriate bitch.”

Lacey had the feeling that some woman in Gold’s past had blamed him for getting unwanted attention. He’d tell her when he was ready, her job right now was to reassure him that he wasn’t doing anything wrong and that she wasn’t upset with him.

She had to do a lot of reassuring. Zelena went out of her way to bump into Gold. She’d tried to corner him on the street, in the diner and at the town hall. Mulan had saved him, as had Ruby, both were ready to rip this woman a new one.

“Seriously Lace, she has no idea of personal space.”

“Anyone could see Gold’s body language was screaming stay away.”

Lacey had a famously volatile temper, she had mellowed a bit with age and the only reason she hadn’t slapped Zelena into next week at Regina’s party was because of how uncomfortable Gold looked. A scene like that would not have help the panic attack that appeared to be brewing under the cold sneering mask he’d been trying to keep on his face.

Now the bitch had tracked him down to the pawnshop. Lacey took a quick peek in the window and swore softly. Dad was doing his best to keep himself between Gold and Zelena, but damn was the bitch making it difficult. Lacey swapped one of her rings on to her left hand and raced into the shop.

The bell chimed, and Gold looked up to see Lacey there smiling widely at him. She ran across the shop, and somehow elbowed Zelena in the face as she threw herself into his arms and planted a massive kiss on his lips. Instinct brought his hands to her waist, and a sense of decorum stopped him pulling her in close, her father was stood less than two feet away.

Lacey pulled back and babbled; “I’m sorry to spoil your surprise, but I found the ring and the proposal poem you’d written, of course I’ll marry you!”

Gold was still reeling from the kiss as Moe gave a hearty cheer, that almost covered Zelena’s huff of disgust.

“Oh congratulations! We should have a family drink to celebrate.”

Moe’s stress on the word family made it clear that Zelena would not be joining them. She tutted again; “Well, I can see I’m not wanted here.”

When no one made any effort to correct her, she flounced out of the shop slamming the door behind her.

Moe clapped his hands together; “Right, I’ll go buy a bottle of bubbly shall I?”

Lacey rolled her eyes; “Dad, we’re not engaged.”

“I know, I want to celebrate the defeat of the witch.”

He took a quick look at the way Gold had sagged into Lacey’s side, relief written large on his face.

“Actually, how about I make myself scarce, leave you two to celebrate on your own.”

He left the shop whistling something that sounded like a Disney song.

Lacey gave Gold a gentle kiss; “You okay?”

“Aye, I’m bloody glad your Dad was here.”

“So, am I. Shall we have a wee dram and you can tell me about the memories that bitch has dredged up?”

Gold nodded and led her into the backroom.

 

Lacey had forgotten to text Granny to let her know that the situation was dealt with. As good as her word Granny had sent the Sheriff down to the pawnshop after ten minutes. Graham arrived in time to find Zelena trying to slash the tires of Gold’s car with a broken bottle. The commotion of Zelena trying to resit arrest caused Lacey to poke her head out of the pawnshop’s back door.

“Everything alright?”

Graham snicked the handcuffs in place and nodded; “Check the car before you drive home, let me know if there’s any damage.”

“Will do, but we’re going to be a while,” – she fixed Zelena with a cheeky grin, - “We’re celebrating.”

Graham dragged the snarling Zelena to the patrol car and wondered if the Mayor would bail her sister or leave her in the cells overnight. He hoped she’d bail her out and fast, he didn’t think he could cope for more than an hour of listening to Zelena rant about how unsuitable Lacey was, or how Gold had led her on.


	2. Chapter 2

Lacey poured the scotch and then sat next to Gold on the day bed. She stroked the pillow with her free hand and smiled. She had very fond memories of this particular piece of furniture, as it featured heavily in her and Gold’s first night together. And several memorable times since. She shifted closer to Gold, now was not the time to get distracted.

He took a swig of scotch and then stared into the glass as if it held the mysteries of the universe. Lacey waited; Gold didn’t bottle his emotions away as much as he had early on in their relationship, but he still needed a mental run-up before he opened up. He took a deep breath; “You remember I told you I was married when I was younger?”

Lacey hummed a positive response. He’d been so worried to tell her that, like she was expecting him to have remained a chaste monk until they got together.

“Well, when it started falling apart, not that I knew that it was falling apart, but in hindsight this is when it started,” – he groaned and rubbed a hand over his face, - “Sorry, I’m babbling, let me start again.”

Lacey squeezed his leg and then threaded their fingers together.

“Okay, Milah used to get angry when woman flirted with me. Most of the time I didn’t even realized they were flirting with me,” – he nudged Lacey’s shoulder with his, - “I’ve always been a bit oblivious. But any time a woman talked to me she’d go into a strop and accuse me of flirting, or inviting their flirting, I was never sure which. She’d yell and say if I wanted a divorce I should just man up and tell her.”

He fell silent for a moment and Lacey had a strong suspicion she knew what was coming next.

“The rows got worse and soon she was sleeping at a ‘friend’s house’.”

He didn’t have a hand free to make air quotes, but Lacey heard the bitter sarcasm in his voice.

“She was the one having an affair?”

“Yup.”

Gold took another swig of scotch and drained the glass; “You want another?”

Lacey took the glass from his hand and leaned forward to put in on the floor with her own. She turned with a smile and straddled his lap. Some of the tension eased from his face as he smiled, but the stress of the past few days and the memories if had dredged up was still visible in the tightness around his eyes. Good job Lacey knew exactly how to relax him. She wound her fingers into his hair and kissed him gently.

“Zelena flirting with you wasn’t your fault. I wasn’t jealous, and I didn’t think for a hot second that you were going to jump into the sack with her. Out of a window to get away from her maybe, but not in to her panties.”

Gold smiled and rubbed his hands over her hips; “I’d like to get into your panties.”

“I’ve told you, you can wear my underwear anytime you like.”

His laughter bubbled out of him, deep and rich. The moment would have been perfect if it hadn’t been for the sudden shriek and sounds of a scuffle coming from outside. Gold’s fingers dug into Lacey’s hips as he jumped. Oh no, she’d just got him to start to relax, no way in hell was that bitch going to spoil things now. She bopped him on the nose; “You stay put. I’ll deal with this.”

Gold edged forward as she bounced to the backdoor and threw it open. He relaxed when he heard Sheriff Graham’s voice as well as Zelena’s. He frowned at Graham’s instruction that they check the car before they drove home, she better not have done anything to his car. He stood up to get his keys, so he could check the damage as Lacey closed the door and locked it.

“And where do you think you are going?”

She wanted to keep him inside until Graham had a chance to haul Zelena to jail.

“Erm, to check the car.”

Her fingers went to the buttons of her blouse; “Okay you want to check the car now, then that’s fine. I’ll just have to start without you.”

He dropped back on to the cot with a thump; “Come here, sweetheart.”

She went to him eagerly. He pulled her into his lap and nuzzled at her neck. He caught her wrists before she could lose them in his hair and moved her hands to the knot of his tie. She worked it free with the skill that comes with practise. He was so impatient that the second the silk was free of his collar he was popping open the buttons of his shirt.

“Put your mark on me, Lacey, please.”

They had both ended up with hickeys before, but this was the first time he’d ever asked for one. This was obviously something he needed, and she was more than happy to do it for him.  
She kissed him soundly on the lips and worked her way across his jaw with little butterfly kisses.

“I know you are mine, Gold.”

She nipped at his ear on the way down to his neck.

“You want everyone to see that you’re mine.”

He groaned something that started out as her name and ended as please. His hands worked under her skirt, stroking over her thighs and she started kissing his neck. She could feel him quivering under her, but as she tried to scoot closer he gripped her leg and wriggled his other hand into her panties. She nipped his neck as his fingers began to flutter over her. The sensation was more teasing than anything that would get her off, but they still had to check the car was roadworthy. They could take their time once they got home.

She pulled away from his neck with a wet pop, the hickey would be mostly hidden by his collar tomorrow, but he would know it was there. His head rolled back against the wall, his eyes hooded and a dreamy look on his face.

“Thank you, sweetheart.”

“My pleasure.”

He chuckled; “Oh, that is going to come later.”

She rolled her hips; “Ooh, looking forward to that.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened to Zelena when she got out of jail?

Zelena was fuming. Her darling sister had left her in jail the whole night, because she ‘needed to learn her lesson’ apparently. She had to pay a fine for the damage to the car, honestly, she hadn’t even slashed the tires and the scratches on the paint work were hardly noticeable. According to the Sheriff she should be glad that no charges were being brought against her.

When Regina had finally bailed her out she had dropped her luggage on the floor at her feet. Her visit was over, and she would have to ask before she popped by in the future. As she drove away she was furious, with this stupid little town, with her sister, and with Gold. You would have thought he’d be grateful for the attentions of a real woman after slumming it with that little chit, but no, he wanted to marry that Lacey. Clearly, he wasn’t as refined as those well-tailored suits suggested.

She rolled her eyes as the traffic slowed. Why did her sister insist on living in the back of beyond? Zelena beeped the horn, but nobody sped up. The line of cars crawled to the crest of a hill and now she could see what the hold up was, a bloody travelling carnival were messing about with one of their trucks in the middle of the damn road. She wasn’t going to wait for the likes of them. She swung the car onto the other side of the road and raced by the line of idiots who were willing to waste their time waiting.

The brakes squealed as she stomped on the pedal. The bloody idiots had blocked the other side of the road, there was no room for her to get past. She growled in frustration and got out of the car she was going to yell at someone until they fixed this ridiculous mess.

 

Regina stared at her phone and tried to process the conversation she’d just had.

A house had fallen on her sister.

Nope, no way she turned it around in her head made it any less crazy. It was a Fun House from one of the carnivals. They had stopped on the road to re-secure the load, which had caused a tailback of traffic. In typical Zelena fashion her sister had been unwilling to wait while they made everything safe. Somehow while Zelena was throwing her weight around with one of the crew the load had slipped, and part of the Fun House fallen. Zelena hadn’t been badly hurt but she had been pinned under the house. The owner of the carnival had said her legs had been sticking out and she’d not made it easy to get her out because she’d kicked at everyone who came near.

A house had fallen on her sister and it was taking all she had not to laugh at the idea. Her phone blared into life and flashed with Zelena’s number. Taking a deep breath Regina got ready to face the storm of her sister’s indignant outburst.


End file.
